How to talk crap

As requested by a near and dear individual.

Talking crap is an artform, one which if mastered can resolve a multitude of situations. From public speaking to developing an intimate relationship, crap talking can be the foundation of positive communication in fundividual.

Talking crap is an artform, one which if mastered can resolve a multitude of situations. From public speaking to developing an intimate relationship, crap talking can be the foundation of positive communication in future interactions.

So what is crap talking?

Crap talking is “pulling conversation out of your arse”. Its telling a tall tale with the intent to amuse and bemuse. Something that should be done with a sense of playfullness, after all, one shouldnt take shit too seriously.

Ok, how to talk crap.

Firstly, start with a believable fact. Even better start with a partial truth, say from your childhood. Like “when I was chased my brother with a plastic axe and broke a fly screen window”.Its a funny and believable fact and its the starting point for what can come after.

Secondly, your made up supporting facts need to flow on (or somehow link to, even if its 70’s batman logic style) naturally from your start point.

Continuing on from my original example “because of the type of damage I inflicted onto the fly screen, the technician that came to repair it had the idea for steel meshed fly screens, and he became quite rich selling the idea. He still sends me a gift of sorts each christmas.”

You’ll notice that this part also seems kind of believable, its important to include smaller details so as to add credibility to your story.

Thirdly, watch your facial expressions. Nothing ruins a good made up story like smiling or laughing too early. Practice in front of a mirror, keeping a straight face while talking crap is important.

Finally, go with your gut. The best part about talking crap is just that, its all just crap. It has to be natural and flow on, and trusting your crap instincts is better then trying to plan to crap. Your gut knows when to crap on, when to stop and when to run. Trust it.

-diceman

For more details, or if you want to know more, enquire from the author of the site, he is quite good at crap talking.

When shit happens it happens in spades, which is useful so you can be gone of it. –unknown wise man

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “How to talk crap

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s